Another year in the books...

So today is my 33rd Birthday!

.... Don't everyone jump at once now. It's cool... No big.

I guess, I'm going to use this post to break my life down as it were. Enjoy, or don't. This blog, I write to track for me.

Things I have learned about myself this year:

• I am much stronger than I thought
• That asking for help and accepting is not weakness
• That finding every moment I can to find happiness alone is time well spent
• I can fix things that I found daunting (Frozen Water Tank and Pipes)
• I truly enjoy woodworking
• Car seat Dancing while everyone is watching, is not wrong
• My individuality is wonderful and something to celebrate
• Make up is my obsession, yet I am comfortable being without
• Still not sure I can do Bleach blonde hair. 
• Music... speaks to my soul

Things I have learned about love:

• Any potential lover can look at me and tell me sweet things, but not many will take the time to show me sweet things
• My size, while it may an attract to a man - does not dictate who I am. 
• That most men that come at you 'Damn I love me a BBW' ... 90% of the time, they aren't seeking a serious relationship - mostly a fulfillment of some fantasy
• The best gifts - are homemade
• That it is Ok to go with how you feel in the moment without a future plan
• That it is more than ok to say 'No.' 
• That I can take care of me and trust that they are a grown adult who can handle themselves
• That the best experiences and connections START with the mental connection, and blossom in a Physical Connection
• That it is ok to be different and like different things, You never know WHAT you will discover with them

Things I have learned in Parenting:

• They are individuals
• They are wonderful, frustrating, Passionate, and curious
• It is my job to guide them while I have them
• They can cause more tears and fears and self doubt than a lover can
• They can also make you so proud and want to scream how AWESOME my children are
• That I have two compassionate children
• That it's also ok to seek help and try a different way to get your point across
• That they are just as fragile as I am in this whole situation, yet resilient. 
• Children are like the Japanese art of Kintsugi. Yes, they are going to break at some point, OUR jobs as parents, is to fill in the cracks and help put them together in the right way. If we use wonderful a powerful fillings of Gold (parables, lessons, compassion, love) these children will rise above the pain and brokenness, and become and inspiring work of art.

Things I have learned as a Friend:

• God found a way to give me the sisters I wasn't born with. 
• Fighting with them and coming back together means that ... Well no one else would take us! Not... means that no matter how much I feel hurt, I miss them more than my pride. 
• Best Friends mean you can be brutally honest about your feelings that you just can't with others
• Also - brutally honest about how your body is betraying you!
• While every friend has certain aspects that you are drawn too, there is no reason to look at my two besties and pick the one I love the most. Because they are the most unique and loving ladies I have ever known... and I couldn't see myself without them. 
• That you will not always agree with the decisions they make, but you can prepare if things go wrong. ... Never leave your Vodka at your friends house unmanned though!
• That new friends are awesome, and only add to your life
• That there is nothing better than a girl's night ... that doesn't have to leave the house but enjoy complete goofing off.
• That my life would be so incomplete with out them... I can do without lovers. My children will eventually leave my side to go make the world a better place... But I could never be without the support my friends, Best friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and casual ones provide. 

The Cat Army has Arrived

Yesterday, we moved in the outside cats as it was getting colder. The younger kittens were a little shyer about human interaction, but they have warmed up. Apparently Dirty Harry has taken a liking to me, and licks me incessantly.

I also have the best boy. Rachet (I also refer to him as Racheteen) is my onery and very demanding buddy. God love him. Ha ha ha! He has kept me up yesterday night and then decided that typing this blog is not what he had in mind once the kids went to bed. He has explored my lamp, and is now investigating my make-up mirror.

On other news, I screwed up with dieting this weekend. Its' been a long weekend and I am just glad to be making a forward movement. I did drink a lot of tea this weekend. I need to start keeping more Healthy snacks for my munchies when I am home. That seems to be my weak spot. I'm home and I get in a mental routine of I'm gonna munch and crunch my way through all this stuff.

All I know, emotionally it was a trying weekend. I have been contemplating a lot of internal decisions and feelings on several matters. Lots on the brain plate as it were.

I also got my living room reclaimed so I can do my workouts in there. Props to me!

I remember...

Today I went to church, and it was wonderful. The choir had an awesome program, and then the pastor came up to speak. And he requested that the congregation sing 'The Old Rugged Cross'.

My grandma loves that song, and I can remember curling up and listening to her sing it. She'd sing it while she was painting, and I just.. Wow.

Gran can't really sing anymore, and she's so much older and of course has her moments. But I miss being that little girl who curled up and listened to Grandma sing the old hymns. It just struck me today. That's all.

Have a happy Easter week, y'all!

What happens when they don't believe?

While we are preparing for our holiday today, I was struck by a conversation I had with a co-worker yesterday. "Does Tori still believe in Santa Clause?" I explained that yes she does, and that we encourage that he's a spirit that lives in us. But I don't think that did it real justice.

I will be ... Hang on, I have to think ... 2012 - 1984 = 28 next month. I honestly don't think about what my age will be, but rather my children's. But I am 27 at the moment, and I still believe in Santa Clause.

Why? Because I fervently believe that he is like the Parables used by Christ to demonstrate the joy of giving, and what it feels like to receive. I believe that Santa is really all of us, reaching out to make someone's holiday a little better, a little brighter, and a little more special.

What saddens me, is this feeling of helping others, giving to others, only lasts this one season. And unlike the parable of Santa, we have as a society only really granted those special favors to our loved ones, or ones we feel deserve it. Think about it. .... Just think for a moment about it.

The gift of a smile? It might actually cost you a few minutes of conversation.

The gift of a helping hand? It might cost you fifteen minutes. Maybe a few bucks.

The GIFT of a loving friend? That could cost you a lifetime of visits.

We used to as a society go down in the dredges and help others. But now we feel fear at helping others we don't know. But we are more than willing to throw a few bucks at it to make it go away and to 'ease our conscience' slightly.

When I was in a deep bought of postpartum depression, while hey, a few bucks helped me mingle by. I can never forget the one person, who cared enough to entertain me, to encourage me, and to help me. It's a kindness that I never will be able to repay. Even if things get rocky, and we don't speak for months. She is still in my prayers every night. And if she pops in my mind for a single second during the day, I still take my time to pray for her. She knows who she is. If she doesn't, all you need to know, she turned me on to the magic of making bread for my family.

So this Christmas, I choose to be thankful for my Santa Clauses. You dear people who encourage and strengthen me. Who make me want to be a little more compassionate in the world. While I may fail that at times, at lot of times in the past couple of months. Know that your kindnesses have always reminded me when I'm crabby, stubborn, and just plain bitchy... I need to show a little more kindness and compassion. I need to get out there more and help those who I can. Not just to strive through one more day, but to help build a lifetime of passion for life. A Passion for the good things, a passion for the bridges that we cross daily, and the rivers of knowledge that we gaze into.

New Look!

I'm fiddling around with the Blog look and layout a little. The picture used at the present time is from Daniel Hambleton. He's our friend from college and took a lot of wonderful pictures that I have loved. This is one of them.

I've also changed the name of the blog. Vive Diu Cum Passione. It's Lation for 'Live Long with Passion'. My new motto. And No. I'm not referring to a fiery inferno of passion that engulfs and ultimately destroys things. I'm talking a nurturing interest that defines the adult version of Passion.

I am passionate about my children, so I go to great lengths to involve myself in their lives and enjoy them.

I am passionate about my spouse, so I will encourage, love, and nurture his needs.

I am passionate about cooking. So I will strive to be the best that I can be and to learn new things.

I am passionate about myself. So I will strive to endure my hardships with grace, My disappointments with dignity, treat my mind like a treasure cove, and my body like the finest of orchids. I could say temple... but let's face it... even temples settle awkwardly after a long period of time.

But needless to say.. Passion. I want to be truly passionate.

Long Time, No Blog

Well, it has been quite a while since I've updated this hootus. Recently, we had a friend come down to visit with us. He's been out of the country for awhile, and honestly, we missed him.

I dug out my southern roots, and honeys - He left weighing probably 5 pounds more. He arrived Friday evening to a Chicken and Dumplings. I only make Drop dumplings. I love the texture that comes from eating a good, thick, dumpling. Whenever I eat a rolled out Dumpling, while good, it often reminds me of eating a pasta, rather than dumpling. Our dumpling recipe is high on Egg content, which allows for enough protein to make a meaty dumpling that is filling.

For dessert - Chocolate Brownie ice cream with this decadent Brownie Pudding. It's a simple recipe that offers big impact considering what you use. The best part about this recipe is the fact of how it's made. You basically apply a paste to a greased pan. The trick however - is getting the watery topping on. I suggest using a large spoon and pouring into that spoon slowly and letting it hit the sides of your pan. What happens is, the liquid will sink to the bottom creating essentially a rich fudge sauce, and the brownie will cook and float on the top.

In the morning, I made overnight waffles. Unfortunately, the yeast didn't proof so they were heavy, but still yummy. Served with maple syrup and or Nutella.

Our final meal was a homemade Pizza, Pepperoni with Mozzerella and a three cheese blend. The sauce was made from scratch, and the crust was brushed in butter and topped with a garlic herb blend and a splattering of Kosher salt.

Well satisfied ladies and gents... very well satisfied!

We're going to be Best Friends Forever!

Yes... I'm mom. I was eavesdropping on my daughter's conversation with Sidney. She kept asking, so we called and asked if Sidney could talk. And thus was the cutest end of a child's conversation I could hear.

...

"Sidney!?" "I've Missed you!"

...

"You wanna hear a joke?"

...

"Yeah well.... OMG! You kill me! *insert massive giggles here*"

...

"Here's my joke... A chicken goes in the road and lays her eggs..."

...

"I know wasn't that funny?!"

...

"Sidney! We're going to be Best Friends Forever!"

Ack! How could I forget the Syrup!?

So, This month in order to save for a few items, Tom and I have been working to eat mostly out of our home and not bring in a whole load of food. One of the items I normally buy every few months is Pancake Syrup. But... I forgot it. So we were going to forgo the ritual of French Toast or Pancake breakfast that we have every Sunday morning... but then. I got a bee in my bonnet.

You can find everything on the internet from Bikini Clad gentleman, to a man dressed up like Eeyore with his miniature Donkey in a matching outfit. Seriously... it exists. So why not look for a knock-off syrup recipie that is just as good, and maybe even cheaper than the store versions. Preferably sans me going out and getting all Lumberjack-like and tappin' me some trees. Yeah... not boiling down 10 gallons of sap to get 2 quarts of syrup.

Allrecipes.com came to my aid! Bless them and their contributors!

The Cheater Pancake Syrup Recipe is super easy, super quick, and produces enough to make you really think twice about ever buying the store stuff again! I could not for the life of me find my Maple Extract, so I substituted Butter Flavoring and it was still completely awesome. So I share a picture of our Sunday Breakfast.

I love Siestas and Storms

So this Sunday, I literally declared the day a wash, before it really started to be honest. Tom and the kids helped clean the living room up. I did dishes, well.. I have more taunting me with their amazing procreating skills. I swear, it's like the dish soap is a kegger and they've invited all their friends to come party in my sink. The owner always does the clean up.

The absolute best part of the day was getting the kids to nap, then going in and curling up with my husband and sleeping. He works nights, so weekends and his two days off are our cuddling time. We've decided that it's more important that we feel connected, than a perfect house or life.

But as it is everywhere in the US recently, it's been hot. Today though, was a miraculous event as I could lay snuggled up in my husband's side while he watched TV with the kids, I was watching the storm roll in. I love the look of the fields as a storm comes this way. We took the kids out for a drive and just reveled in the rain coming down. We drove by our bank before it started, and it told us it was 80 degrees out. 15 minutes later, it was just 71. We explained the scientific points of how lightening occurs and why. Yes... we prefer to be real with her on some things. The fairytales still exist though.

But yes... Siestas are the best thing in the world, especially when you get to snuggle with your loved one/s! And teaching your children that Storms are a blessing and a spectacle... completely worth the day being a wash!

Berries, Apples, and.. Cobbler?! OH MY!

So, Monday was a rough day... The whole week previous was rough honestly. I was making Supper for the kids and decided we needed to leave the house for awhile. So, it was decided we needed to hunt Blackberries. So, we loaded in Daddy (Tom)'s Jeep and went into the field. We found a few, but the real awesome find, was the Granny Apple tree in the back corner. This is a tree that my brother and I would hunt when we were younger... We used to pick apples and feed them to Jackie, a bay muley mouthed mare who was like our dog.

So Tori, climbed on Mommy and Daddy while we pulled branches down and we got 4 apples that she really wanted to eat. Then we went to Uncle Bill & Marcus's Saw mill. The kids seen my brother there and watched the machinery work. Ian wants one... toys just aren't cutting it!

But we got home, and Tori was helping me work the blackberries and I was cutting the apples up for cobbler and we discussed cooking terms as I was applying my pie crust...

*as I'm reaching in the fridge* 'Momma needs to get her Cheater'. "Momma! You keep cheaters in there?!" *very serious look on her face*. While I am seriously considering saying yes, I say no. 'No baby, Cheaters are the bought Pie Crusts Momma keeps in here. I call them cheaters because I didn't make them from scratch'..... *Confused look* "Momma, what are you scratching then?".... 'Tori, from scratch means, Mommy actually took flour, salt, water, and butter to make a pie crust. Mommy didn't, so this isn't from scratch". ... 'You're silly Momma."

Anyway, folks try this cobbler! I've found that it works wonderfully with vanilla ice cream. It's warm, but sweet. Just what a family dessert should be.

Black Apple Cobbler -

1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cloves
1 tsp cinnamon
2 cups sugar
1 tsp Vanilla
2 tbls Flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup Chopped Granny Smith Apples
3 cup Blackberries

1 Refridgerated Pie Crust
2 Tbs Butter
2 tbs Sugar

Heat oven to 350 Degrees.

Combine the first set of ingredients in a bowl, mix well. Pour in 9 x 9 pan. Cover with Pie Crust and settle in. Butter Crust and Sugar it. Fork the crust to make air vents. Make sure to say Poke every time you fork it, it adds fun to the dish.

Cook in oven for 45 minutes. Serve with Vanilla Ice Cream.

Peace and Rescue...

Saturday, we had a party, and while it was wonderful and... busy. It was really great. So on Sunday, I took the opportunity on Sunday for some peace of my mind. First thing on the agenda was the rescue of a treasured family heirloom.

This is a table made by my father, during the first year of marriage between him and Mom. Now this table is on temporary loan to me, but my mother states that she will be taking this back. but for now, I have it and am loving it. Still have some restoration to do to it, but it'll be awesome.

I also claimed sanity by pulling my non-napping daughter into the living room and cuddling on the couch with her... the results?

This was the best part of the day. She just slept there. It was great, until I realized I had forgotten to each lunch. It was the most peaceful day I can remember in awhile. On top of that, the weather was fabulous! Kicked the kids outside and they just ran their little tails off. I'm so totally ready for spring!

I have Iris bulbs getting ready to be planted, and first week of march, they're out the door and in the ground.

Kicking Stove Top Butt!

While today, I work on the house in bits and pieces, I think there is something to be grateful for... number one, my children's ability to scuffle and fight. They make messes, tattle, stand with their noses 3 inches from the plasma tv, and.... I'm grateful.

I have a friend who is going through a rough time with her youngest child, and I can't even begin to think about how or what I would do if this was me. I'm just praying for her, so my few readers, will you pray for her family as well? They could use a little assistance.

Right now, I am looking at my stove top though in immense satisfaction. Well... at least half of it, I'm still kicking the other half's rump. I've activated super Mom Powers and am working though this stove top with Lemon Juice, Baking Soda, and Cream of Tarter. Oh yeah.

I'm also no longer broadcasting on the internet radio, I haven't in awhile, but at some point, when things kind of settle out, and I've figured out what I need to do... I'll go again. This week has been horrid, I'm sick, and it was a blizzard week, and just ... ugh!

We've made two concrete plans this past week though. Over Memorial Day, Our little family is going to go join Chrisna's and visit Michigan, and Chicago since we will be going through it! So as we review plans and get to that point, keep us in mind if you have any suggestions!

The other major plan, is Tom and I are going to work outside our home... as in our yard. We already work outside the home to make some strange green thing they call money. We don't really know, we never actually get to see it because these white things called Bills always come along at the SAME time. We're going to do Straw Bale Gardening, and Put in some Flowers, Also move the Ozark Strawberry Patch, get a Blueberry bush or three, and start a Grape Vine. So Pictures will be around at that point.

Ok.... Scattered post done.... Please do pray for my friend's and their child at this time.