The Death of my Diet...

OH CURSE YOU SWEET ADORABLE GIRL SCOUTS AND YOUR DELECTABLE COOKIES!

*nom nom nom*

It is sooooo good... I mean BAD! Yes yes... Bad is what I'm searching for.

Horrible Carmel deLite cookie! I must punish you for your diabolical assault on my diet and weight loss! Your punishment shall be your destruction!

*nom nom nom*

Ugh... I need to find a more... diet friendly punishment for these cookies. I'll perform CPR tomorrow.

I hate Shopping...

Seriously... Shopping bugs me. I doubt when I loose all the weight I want, I will like shopping then. Internet Browsing, yes I like that. Now, I be large... some might say my body simply expanded to fit in all my attitude. I did gain a lot of that after having kids. I attribute that to my birthing experience with Tori.

It wasn't bad, by any means. It was just when you are in the hospital for 30 hours, and everyone and their cousin is 'checking your dilation'... for those who don't know.... that's where they stick a hand up your hoo-hah and check how thinned and expanded the cervix is. I kinda got a little ... quirky after that.

But needless to say, shopping at my size sucks. Stores never carry my size, even my shoe size, which is an 11, is hard to find IN STORE. But online, you are still taking your chances. On top of that, 2 c-sections in a year later.... let's just say me naked isn't so pretty.

But I looove shopping for my kids. They're just the right size, they make such awesome clothes... I can even make pretty cute clothes cheap because it doesn't take a lot of fabric. So that's what I enjoy to shop for. Soon enough my daughter will shun what I buy and want what's cool. If what's cool ends up being like some of the popular styles of today.... well She can dress like that when she's MOVED OUT and I'm not paying her bills. Just sayin.

It Canna take No Mor' Cap'n!

I love making Scones. Seriously! The obsession starts back when I was 9 or 10.

* Initiate Time Travel Tunes* .. seriously I think it was Pam Tillis and Rhett Akins at this time.

My Dad, who traveled while I grew up, told me that he absolutely loved Shortbread. His Grandma used to make Shortbread. (Stepping back to the present, the shortbread that my dad is referring to, is now discovered to truly be a type of sourdough biscuit, back to the story) so started my love of baking.

Dad was getting ready to go back to Wichita at this point, and I decided I was going to make him shortbread. Not only did my first shortbread cookies like... they were horrible. I also burnt them. But my Dad, like every father should, didn't just take a bite and tell me how good they were... he ate the whole cookie and took the rest with him. I suspect to save the rest of the household from having to eat them.

I wasn't an idiot, I knew they were kinda cruddy for a cookie. I would try and try again and again to make these cookies. EVERY TIME ... I sucked at it. I could bake cakes, muffins, and the like. I'd even master Rouxs. But it was like I was making these things with my feet when I made them.

Now, I was 23 when I made my first GOOD batch of Shortbread. I followed a Scottish Recipe that I found on a Livejournal group, Food Porn. The secret, 10 strokes and you're done.

I like to think that I'm Captain Kirk on Star Trek on these cooking excursions. And my dough/ingredients are Scotty. If I try to push the dough too much I can just hear Scotty telling me 'The Gluten Canna Take It No More, Cap'n!'. Which... honestly is appropriate since I do love the Scottish Baking Recipes.

So while I'm trying to get meself a Shortbread Pan... I master Scones in the same step. If you want the tenderest, melt in your mouth scones that beat any real store bought ones... Try a Scottish Scone Recipe. It's not as hard as you think! My absolute favorite recipe I got from AllRecipes.com: World's Best Scones. When you master making these, You can adjust it however you want.

I have fresh blueberries, I think I'm going to add some Scones to my Chocolate Chip Cookie Muffies.

IT BURNS!

So working on my Fat rumpus... we bought an elliptical. I just spent 2 - 8 minute sessions on it.

IT BURNS!!! I BURNS!!! The Demon of Fat Rump is fighting and biting and spitting it's venomous brimstone all over my muscles... I need to be exorcised of the demon ice cream and pasta. Leave the Demon of Bread, we have a good thing going.

* continues her rolling and moaning on the couch*

Dear God, make it stop... I'll let the kids use the round belly as a 'homemade' trampoline.... I swear I won't complain when Tom says that the rump is a double handful.

*pants and lays still for awhile*

Ohhh-kay... Mr. Elliptical, we have a date tomorrow. Bring your holy sweat and cleansing fire!

Peace and Rescue...

Saturday, we had a party, and while it was wonderful and... busy. It was really great. So on Sunday, I took the opportunity on Sunday for some peace of my mind. First thing on the agenda was the rescue of a treasured family heirloom.

This is a table made by my father, during the first year of marriage between him and Mom. Now this table is on temporary loan to me, but my mother states that she will be taking this back. but for now, I have it and am loving it. Still have some restoration to do to it, but it'll be awesome.

I also claimed sanity by pulling my non-napping daughter into the living room and cuddling on the couch with her... the results?

This was the best part of the day. She just slept there. It was great, until I realized I had forgotten to each lunch. It was the most peaceful day I can remember in awhile. On top of that, the weather was fabulous! Kicked the kids outside and they just ran their little tails off. I'm so totally ready for spring!

I have Iris bulbs getting ready to be planted, and first week of march, they're out the door and in the ground.

Crazy and Exploring the options that go with...

Date nights are always better with a Peach Margarita at 35% off because they are having a Weekly special on them. Yeah, It was lovely.

I am officially saying that I am crazy, bonkers, insane in the membrane (or menses, if you are so inclined - ALL women are!). So I'm thinking about a lot of things lately, and honestly last Friday, things REALLY crashed on me. Our vacation is cancelled, and while I wanted to buy the pretty prefabbed things for my garden area... yeah, that ain't happening anymore. So since it looks like the groundhog may have been right *crosses toes, legs, lips, eyes, and fingers.... ok uncrossing the last two, I am typing* You're going to start seeing renovation project updates on our little bit heaven. Though sometimes, I don't know about y'all... it's kinda rough here.

One of the first projects we will be working on is boxes for the plants. More specifically, prepping the area where we are moving my Ozark Everbearing Strawberry plants. We will also be setting it up where we will have two grapevines, and two blueberry bushes. At least that's the plan.

Also at some point this year, I will be installing a Cherry tree, a tree house, and two large squares of raised straw bale gardens. No, that is not a redundant statement. I am enclosing the straw bales in a raised platform for sitting so I can start small gardens this year. We also have two buildings to tear down, the Garage to fix, driveway to correct... and getting rid of some Rose of Sharon bushes. By and by, if you have any handy tips to rid yourself of these wonderful bushes. Please share. They sprout like ... rabbits almost.

I'm also looking at the couponing more closely now, since I look down and realize. These chicks, with the *OMG I PAID NOTHING for my GROCERIES thanks to *insert big anime sparkles* COUPONS?!* blogs.... they all live in large cities. Large cities with grocery stores that have totruly compete for their consumers. Unlike in little po-dunk towns like we live in, Heh... They'll cut you deals, but they aren't cutting their belts. Coupons help, mind you. Just not as much as I think.

Btw: This last pic, be my hubby enjoying his drink, Dos Equis!

Honey, It still tastes like urine to me. I just don't do beer.

It's a Circus! At least my Mental Images are!

So, the other morning, I'm waking up, and Tor comes in. The dogs came in begging to be let out to relieve their poor little bladders. I asked Tori to open the door and let the dogs out. She was grumpy and decided she didn't want to. So she knitted her fingers together, and essentially polished the door knob with them.

Being half awake, I trudge into the living room. I take one look at how she's trying to open the door, and realize what's happening. I hear her saying the door is stuck, no more 'I Can't's because well, Mommy doesn't allow those words in my house. After watching this performance for five minutes, I realize one thing. She's just going to keep doing this balderdash until I do it myself.

So when I get them out, I look at Tori and I tell her that I'm disappointed that you did that. She looks at me with her eyes welling with tears at these words. I was worried. I spent all morning pondering what this might mean for her future.

So I immediately imagine myself, standing on plank, which is balancing on a ball. And in my arms, the squirming ever changing child constantly throwing me off balance as I try to straighten her up to what she should be.

When I look at this image, It really hits home. Is my daughter going to be one of those people who will constantly seek everyone's approval. Will she take it hard when the bully says she doesn't like her? Have I created a horrible person?

I roll this around and around in my head... until finally my mental image of me crashes to the ground, cradling the mental Tori as I hit the ground with a swift painful woosh of air escaping. My daughter sits up on my chest and looks down at me smiling... 'You're Silly Mommy'.

And it's true. My daughter does stand up for herself. She enjoys her own thing, and doesn't let anyone stop her... unless it's her elders pointing out that it's kinda dangerous. She even argues with her family members to make her point clear. She stands up to bullies. She's even told one that if they keep being mean, they'll never get married.

Which makes me think, my Hubby and I have done something right if she thinks that getting married is such a great thing to achieve. .... As long as she graduates college first.

I'm sorry.... It's a hard thing to say.

The other night, my son was playing rough with my Mom. For those of you who aren't familiar with the typical Child playing Formula, here you go:

Happy Child x Excitement x Sparring Partner x Tickles = Injuries!!

Suffice it to say, Mom got a good Nose bump (no blood, thankfully), and Ian got a knotty noggin. So, like all good Moms, I tell Ian and Mom to apologize to each other... Now let me clarify.

I am not an 'I'm sorry' will cut it kind of Mom. I believe a child's first real lesson in responsibility occurs in these moments when a child has injured another. Teaching them to make a proper apology, not just saying "I'm sorry", but clarifying why they are sorry. As in... "I'm sorry Mom that I broke your $60 China Plate that is REALLY hard to find"... Ok maybe not that specific, but at least 'I'm sorry I broke the plate'. Even for accidents.

I don't want my kids to go through life like some I know, people who look at you and say It was an accident. ... Yes bub, I know it was an accident you rear-ended me, but you still have to pay the piper... or my repairman in this case.

My daughter took awhile to really slam this lesson home for her. My son... I swear he's part Mule. ... No comments from my friend's pointing how stubborn I am, my blog, shh.

Going back to why we are writing this in the first place - Ian wasn't going to apologize. Instead, He took off running when we pointed out that giggling when Memaw's eyes were welling wasn't funny. After we retrieved him from his room - he was completely focused on his knotted noggin, that it must be all her fault. So Mom tries talking to him. He starts to cry, bawl, basically 'Memaw Lecture Neutralizer v3'. I had to intervene. So we try just calmly explaining that he needs to apologize too because he hit Memaw as well. That doesn't work.

Said son turns from Mule, to Stonewall Jackson. That's ok... I'm John Pope... or.. Jonita? So, while I put Ian in sit down time, I endure glares from my Mom, who might I add is still working on her Immunity from MLNv3. I explained to her several times, you did this to me HOW MANY TIMES?

Finally Mom leaves because Ian is still Stonewalling me. Finally he breaks down in sobs after realizing that Memaw is gone. So we sit down and talk. I asked him why he was in trouble.'I hit Memaw'. Well Ian, that wasn't nice, but that's not why you are in trouble. You wouldn't apologize. So we talked about it, in four-year old language by the way. We even brushed over responsibility for your actions.

In the end, he said he wanted to apologize to Memaw. So I call Memaw on the phone... He was silent the whole time. Just teared and sniffled. Also it was really late so I said he needed to go to bed and I loved him.

By the way - before you start. Even Pope lost troops, and I won this battle by at least getting the message of responsibility across. Be sure that Stonewall and Pope shall meet again!

It's a Taco... It's Chili... It's... WTH?!

So last night, while the kids were out with Mary building their Snowwoman, I was making a pot of Chili... Well kinda. I started making a pot of chili, and when I went to get the handy McCormick Seasonings I keep about, it hit me.

I forgot to buy Chili Seasoning!

So here I stand, this massive pot of would be chili staring at me bubbling slightly like, HELLO You forget something. So I look about in desperation, what DO I have? Cheesy Taco... Cheesy Taco... American Burger... Cheesy Taco... Pot Roast... Cheesy Taco... Cheesy Taco. Hrmm... I think I have enough Cheesy Taco to use two packets.

Then I stand there looking at it pondering. Something seems to be missing. It's thick. So... Lets add some Cut up Tortilla bits, I've always wanted to try that. *Plop Plop Plop* Smells weird, better let it boil and bubble for a bit, any true witches brew needs too.

Low and behold, it's done.. ish. I'm not sure, I need an unsuspecting subject, who is innocent enough and acclimated to my off the hook cooking they would at least try it. Ah ha! Till Death do you part... Well, not with this stuff. Maybe it'll be 'Till Toilet Doth Call' after he eats it.

Low and behold, I serve him a bowl. 'Try it.'. He looks at me suspiciously and takes a tentative bite. Chews... swallows... ponders. ... ... ... Then proceeds to shove the rest down like it's his last meal before the firing squad.

Don't get me wrong, I had 3 bowls myself, and I'm working on leftovers today! It's nomish. It's great... and no toilet callers!

Snow Person!

So... Because my Aunt Mary is awesome. She came by while I was cleaning and helped the kids make this Snow person! She has Oreo's for eyes, a twizzler for a mouth... and a baby carrot for a nose, because I didn't have any full carrots. I think it's highly cute.

And because the dog wanted to get in on the photo action! That's Rosie, she's Basset Hound and we think a collie mix. :)

Kicking Stove Top Butt!

While today, I work on the house in bits and pieces, I think there is something to be grateful for... number one, my children's ability to scuffle and fight. They make messes, tattle, stand with their noses 3 inches from the plasma tv, and.... I'm grateful.

I have a friend who is going through a rough time with her youngest child, and I can't even begin to think about how or what I would do if this was me. I'm just praying for her, so my few readers, will you pray for her family as well? They could use a little assistance.

Right now, I am looking at my stove top though in immense satisfaction. Well... at least half of it, I'm still kicking the other half's rump. I've activated super Mom Powers and am working though this stove top with Lemon Juice, Baking Soda, and Cream of Tarter. Oh yeah.

I'm also no longer broadcasting on the internet radio, I haven't in awhile, but at some point, when things kind of settle out, and I've figured out what I need to do... I'll go again. This week has been horrid, I'm sick, and it was a blizzard week, and just ... ugh!

We've made two concrete plans this past week though. Over Memorial Day, Our little family is going to go join Chrisna's and visit Michigan, and Chicago since we will be going through it! So as we review plans and get to that point, keep us in mind if you have any suggestions!

The other major plan, is Tom and I are going to work outside our home... as in our yard. We already work outside the home to make some strange green thing they call money. We don't really know, we never actually get to see it because these white things called Bills always come along at the SAME time. We're going to do Straw Bale Gardening, and Put in some Flowers, Also move the Ozark Strawberry Patch, get a Blueberry bush or three, and start a Grape Vine. So Pictures will be around at that point.

Ok.... Scattered post done.... Please do pray for my friend's and their child at this time.