Monday, October 26, 2009

My Mother told me there would be days like this....

But I wish I  could slide on by…


I know in every human relationship there will be bumps, grinds, and general annoyances. But lately there have been some things that worry me about my relationships.


I am noticing patterns in myself that I hate to admit to:


1.       I am selfish. I am. I want what I want when I want it, and who knows who will help who gets in my way.

2.     I have a temper. I can admit it, I haven’t worked on my temper, and I am easy to flare.

3.      I patched up the black box. Remember the old story about how God gave a girl two boxes, one gold and one black? The Gold was for the praises and the good things in her life, the Black for the bad. After awhile the Gold box was so heavy, but the black box was so light. Because God put a hole in the bottom of the box. I’ve been holding on to things.

4.     I have missed my faith. I’ve recently been discussing faith with my husband who lacks it. I used to have such a strong faith, and I didn’t survive the trials as well as I thought. I’m currently in the process of re-forging my faith. I don’t believe in Religion, but pure God-driven faith.

5.      I want to be the Queen of Sheba. What woman doesn’t? But honestly – Where is she now? For that matter, I just had to live in a society that doesn’t really deal with royalty. So I guess that dream should fall by the wayside?


So now, I begin my quest to really live this life I want, I guess everyone else will have to follow along? First step – finding that BIBLE! Where did DH put it?