Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Another year in the books...

So today is my 33rd Birthday!

.... Don't everyone jump at once now. It's cool... No big.

I guess, I'm going to use this post to break my life down as it were. Enjoy, or don't. This blog, I write to track for me.

Things I have learned about myself this year:

  • I am much stronger than I thought
  • That asking for help and accepting is not weakness
  • That finding every moment I can to find happiness alone is time well spent
  • I can fix things that I found daunting (Frozen Water Tank and Pipes)
  • I truly enjoy woodworking
  • Car seat Dancing while everyone is watching, is not wrong
  • My individuality is wonderful and something to celebrate
  • Make up is my obsession, yet I am comfortable being without
  • Still not sure I can do Bleach blonde hair. 
  • Music... speaks to my soul

Things I have learned about love:

  • Any potential lover can look at me and tell me sweet things, but not many will take the time to show me sweet things
  • My size, while it may an attract to a man - does not dictate who I am. 
  • That most men that come at you 'Damn I love me a BBW' ... 90% of the time, they aren't seeking a serious relationship - mostly a fulfillment of some fantasy
  • The best gifts - are homemade
  • That it is Ok to go with how you feel in the moment without a future plan
  • That it is more than ok to say 'No.' 
  • That I can take care of me and trust that they are a grown adult who can handle themselves
  • That the best experiences and connections START with the mental connection, and blossom in a Physical Connection
  • That it is ok to be different and like different things, You never know WHAT you will discover with them

Things I have learned in Parenting:

  • They are individuals
  • They are wonderful, frustrating, Passionate, and curious
  • It is my job to guide them while I have them
  • They can cause more tears and fears and self doubt than a lover can
  • They can also make you so proud and want to scream how AWESOME my children are
  • That I have two compassionate children
  • That it's also ok to seek help and try a different way to get your point across
  • That they are just as fragile as I am in this whole situation, yet resilient. 
  • Children are like the Japanese art of Kintsugi. Yes, they are going to break at some point, OUR jobs as parents, is to fill in the cracks and help put them together in the right way. If we use wonderful a powerful fillings of Gold (parables, lessons, compassion, love) these children will rise above the pain and brokenness, and become and inspiring work of art.

Things I have learned as a Friend:
  • God found a way to give me the sisters I wasn't born with. 
  • Fighting with them and coming back together means that ... Well no one else would take us! Not... means that no matter how much I feel hurt, I miss them more than my pride. 
  • Best Friends mean you can be brutally honest about your feelings that you just can't with others
  • Also - brutally honest about how your body is betraying you!
  • While every friend has certain aspects that you are drawn too, there is no reason to look at my two besties and pick the one I love the most. Because they are the most unique and loving ladies I have ever known... and I couldn't see myself without them. 
  • That you will not always agree with the decisions they make, but you can prepare if things go wrong. ... Never leave your Vodka at your friends house unmanned though!
  • That new friends are awesome, and only add to your life
  • That there is nothing better than a girl's night ... that doesn't have to leave the house but enjoy complete goofing off.
  • That my life would be so incomplete with out them... I can do without lovers. My children will eventually leave my side to go make the world a better place... But I could never be without the support my friends, Best friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and casual ones provide.