Tuesday, February 08, 2011

I'm sorry.... It's a hard thing to say.


The other night, my son was playing rough with my Mom. For those of you who aren't familiar with the typical Child playing Formula, here you go:

Happy Child x Excitement x Sparring Partner x Tickles = Injuries!!

Suffice it to say, Mom got a good Nose bump (no blood, thankfully), and Ian got a knotty noggin. So, like all good Moms, I tell Ian and Mom to apologize to each other... Now let me clarify.

I am not an 'I'm sorry' will cut it kind of Mom. I believe a child's first real lesson in responsibility occurs in these moments when a child has injured another. Teaching them to make a proper apology, not just saying "I'm sorry", but clarifying why they are sorry. As in... "I'm sorry Mom that I broke your $60 China Plate that is REALLY hard to find"... Ok maybe not that specific, but at least 'I'm sorry I broke the plate'. Even for accidents.

I don't want my kids to go through life like some I know, people who look at you and say It was an accident. ... Yes bub, I know it was an accident you rear-ended me, but you still have to pay the piper... or my repairman in this case.

My daughter took awhile to really slam this lesson home for her. My son... I swear he's part Mule. ... No comments from my friend's pointing how stubborn I am, my blog, shh.

Going back to why we are writing this in the first place - Ian wasn't going to apologize. Instead, He took off running when we pointed out that giggling when Memaw's eyes were welling wasn't funny. After we retrieved him from his room - he was completely focused on his knotted noggin, that it must be all her fault. So Mom tries talking to him. He starts to cry, bawl, basically 'Memaw Lecture Neutralizer v3'. I had to intervene. So we try just calmly explaining that he needs to apologize too because he hit Memaw as well. That doesn't work.

Said son turns from Mule, to Stonewall Jackson. That's ok... I'm John Pope... or.. Jonita? So, while I put Ian in sit down time, I endure glares from my Mom, who might I add is still working on her Immunity from MLNv3. I explained to her several times, you did this to me HOW MANY TIMES?

Finally Mom leaves because Ian is still Stonewalling me. Finally he breaks down in sobs after realizing that Memaw is gone. So we sit down and talk. I asked him why he was in trouble.'I hit Memaw'. Well Ian, that wasn't nice, but that's not why you are in trouble. You wouldn't apologize. So we talked about it, in four-year old language by the way. We even brushed over responsibility for your actions.

In the end, he said he wanted to apologize to Memaw. So I call Memaw on the phone... He was silent the whole time. Just teared and sniffled. Also it was really late so I said he needed to go to bed and I loved him.

By the way - before you start. Even Pope lost troops, and I won this battle by at least getting the message of responsibility across. Be sure that Stonewall and Pope shall meet again!

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