Here's my frustration. I love my children. I would so be super mom, or a female Al Capone if you mes with my kids. I am a momma bear. my son is the love of my life. But at the same time, I have spent all day focusing on an Excel spreadsheet hurrying to complete it accurately but speedily. I came home, and found out that I ruined the pork chops in the crock pot, and they just weren't right and he was not eating them. ... crying was gonna happen soon.
Then I go out to see the Super Moon, and it was clouding and beginning to rain.
Now then, Boy-o talks. He talks all the time. He narrates everything he does, what he is thinking about doing, and wants constant affirmations that I like what he is doing. Which I give him whole-heartedly. I answer all the random questions "How long to flies live? What's it like underwater? What would happen if I mixed soap and the scrubby stuff?" I answer things about his Dad and I. I answer things positively about his father, so that it's a good bond that I have not singed.
But, after working all that time, I would love to be able to come home after a hard day, sit on the couch, and zone out. But that is not the life of a single mom. It's me and these two 24/7. All the homework, the scrapes, the 'do the chores', the hugs, the kisses, the goofiness, the tears, the fears.
But I love them, and I realize that someday I will miss all of this. It isn't easy, I knew it wasn't gonna be easy. But it's worth every moment.
... Because between verbally asking him multiplication tables and even some quiz facts for sis that she shares on our drive in the morning when we start out together.... I get this wonderful contest where the kids try to up me on who loves who more. Often - I drag out a 90's saying of 'All that and a bag of chips' which produces giggles. We sing and for 5 minutes, we try to start our days out the best we can. As a loving family, who while odd... is working our best to be the best we can be.
Never said we were perfect - Never said that was a goal. But happy and productive.... those are goals I shoot for with my kiddos.
|A cloudy Super Moon taken this evening.|