Thank you, Thank you dear ones. Oh it is so wonderful to be here amongst you all. It's always nice to be recognized by my colleagues with the same lack of sanity that I have.
I would first like to thank Adulthood for bringing me to this moment. Without your constant worries about bills, groceries, and my weight, I would be a sane normal person who would have no concept of the difference between living on a dime and living on the dollar. Nor would I understand what it means to have Thunder Thighs, or stretch marks the size of the grand canyon running across my rump.
I'd also like to thank my hormones, because without you, I wouldn't have the constant flux of emotions that keep my whole family on their toes! My children and husband will be well equipped for WWIII, because during certain parts of the month, their worlds are full of a constant eruption of splutters. They know how to use a fox hole now, They also know how to keep their mouths shut. My son will be well prepared for a relationship with a female, and my daughter will recognize most of the signs. I myself have learned how to avoid committing homicide. Also during these times, I have become acutely aware of the stupidity of the human race.
Though, We all know that without Motherhood - I would be just as able to adjust my responses to within normal limits. The constant lack of sleep, with the consistent work load increases, along with all the wonderful evenings spent being the depository for puke, piss, and crap ... along with a few bodily fluids I'm not really sure of. All these things left me with a wonderful way of looking at the world. I've learned that sanity is over rated, and some confusing imagination and creativity with a complete lack of true reality.
Thank you again dear ones... I'll make sure to save you a seat next to me at lunch in the Sanitarium. Kiss Kiss!
*waves and leaves with mic, muttering about how stupidly insane all of those people were*
No comments:
Post a Comment