So Tori was a Tap Dancer...

She's so cute whenever she thinks that she's all that, isn't she? *grins*

I was actually VERY proud of my daughter and her whole class during their Tap Dance at the Cosmopolitan Club Variety Show & Pageant. It was a disaster until they danced.

Apparently, the song that the Teacher had was on a Cassette Tape. It's a really cute song, and I finally found it and may take it upon myself to buy it on the CD and give it to the teacher to avoid this NEXT year. Since Tori will also be in this class next year.

But the short story: They did not have the tape cued. For either the practice or the show. So during the show, on the stage, these poor kids had to stand there, for 4 minutes (I have the video and it is timed as such) while the technician had to cue the tape. So during random bits, the whole audience is hearing Whitney Houston.

My daughter as you can see, had very little make-up on. I chose to be that way because it's natural, and the only real make-up that she required was to even her skin tone and cover her 'raccoon eyes'. For those who do not know about the whole Stage thing. Those lights, bring out EVERY flaw and amplify it. So it was necessary for that much just enough to merely make her more photogenic and not look like something that stepped out of a Tim Burton movie all sallow looking and such.

But I am very proud of my daughter. She danced beautifully. Especially for as short of a time that she's been dancing.

I've been a Baaa-aaaaad Blogger.

Dear Readers, please forgive my absence. I was detained by a vile, evil, and monstrous Wisdom tooth. It even left massive consequences for me to deal with once it's vileness was removed from my mouth in the form of a gang called 'Dry Socket'. We shall return to our normal programming this week.

Cleaning my Glass Stove Top

Have I ever mentioned how I HATE cleaning my stove top? Seriously, it's like, Darlin' clean up before it's a huge mess! Sometimes I do it too... We are busy people. We all are! So let me introduce you to ... My method of cleaning the Glass stove top...

Our Starting Line Up: Vinegar, Baking Soda, Borax, and A Stove Top Glass Polish.

Let's take a look at our inital field. While I would love to say that this was left this way purely for this blog. I can't say that, we've had sick kids and sick adults. Scratch that, let's go with that!

In the first Corner is Vinegar! She's one mean lady and she means business. She's gonna start this whole game off by picking off the little ones. She's there for 30 minutes just beating up those nasty looking things. She left the field looking like this...

Oh look, now comes the hard ball players here to help out our starter, Let's give a big warm welcome for Baking Soda and Borax. These two pull a BB combination trick on the burnt on mess. Here comes Vinegar, she's rolling through to give the BB combination a real kick! Don't worry folks the extra fizzing is just the energy that comes with this. It'll power through that stuff in no time! Enter in last minute stand in, SPONGE! Sponge helps the BB/Vinegar combo scrub down these areas.

With their power down and the mess gone... we bring in our last proponent, the Polish! This will help seal anything and give it that nice smooth finished look. Like this -

My Acceptance Speech for the Best Loss of Sanity...

*waves and walks to the podium, gracefully tripping on the non-existent carpet - please ignore my facial twitch, it's rude to stare*

Thank you, Thank you dear ones. Oh it is so wonderful to be here amongst you all. It's always nice to be recognized by my colleagues with the same lack of sanity that I have.

I would first like to thank Adulthood for bringing me to this moment. Without your constant worries about bills, groceries, and my weight, I would be a sane normal person who would have no concept of the difference between living on a dime and living on the dollar. Nor would I understand what it means to have Thunder Thighs, or stretch marks the size of the grand canyon running across my rump.

I'd also like to thank my hormones, because without you, I wouldn't have the constant flux of emotions that keep my whole family on their toes! My children and husband will be well equipped for WWIII, because during certain parts of the month, their worlds are full of a constant eruption of splutters. They know how to use a fox hole now, They also know how to keep their mouths shut. My son will be well prepared for a relationship with a female, and my daughter will recognize most of the signs. I myself have learned how to avoid committing homicide. Also during these times, I have become acutely aware of the stupidity of the human race.

Though, We all know that without Motherhood - I would be just as able to adjust my responses to within normal limits. The constant lack of sleep, with the consistent work load increases, along with all the wonderful evenings spent being the depository for puke, piss, and crap ... along with a few bodily fluids I'm not really sure of. All these things left me with a wonderful way of looking at the world. I've learned that sanity is over rated, and some confusing imagination and creativity with a complete lack of true reality.

Thank you again dear ones... I'll make sure to save you a seat next to me at lunch in the Sanitarium. Kiss Kiss!

*waves and leaves with mic, muttering about how stupidly insane all of those people were*